Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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