Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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