either way he was missing a nipple.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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