It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
