Kiss
Puke
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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