i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
