is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize