I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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