what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
