Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
