Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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