If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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