there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
COCAINE IS GR8
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
