If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
