your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
