So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
