Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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