Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
