I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
