i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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