I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
