I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
