Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
