maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
