I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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