After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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