I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
