we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
