I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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