Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
