How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
two words: eviction party
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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