Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
