Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize