i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
