She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
