you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
