Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sorry about my life...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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