Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
