Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
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