Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
