I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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