You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
