oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
