well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
