Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize