Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
