Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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