i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
God, I missed his penis.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
