fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
