you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
