I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
