You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
