yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
