Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
