another moral hangover. fuck.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
