remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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