pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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