you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Walk of Shame today included voting.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
