I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
