Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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