wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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