Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize