like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
