In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
