I heard we made out
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
