do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
