His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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